Behind the Downpour
by PiperM91412
Summary: There is a saying "Sometimes pain was like a storm that came out of nowhere. The clearest summer could end in a downpour. Could end in lightning and thunder." Would this moment end as the same for Olivia? After everything that happened through her life, would Wen finally have saved her?


**A/N: This idea just came to me one night. I actually wrote this at dawn when everyone was still snoozing. I just felt like writing it. Thanks for reading. Hope you would take a look at my other works too, and maybe some of the future ones as well. Send me reviews, comments, suggestions for stories, your love, etc. Thanks again lemonheads. :))**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think. *Oneshot***

* * *

><p>This day is just filled with misfortune. I can actually provide a list of things that would consider this day as one of the worst in my life.<p>

As bad as the day I got caught cutting class in the janitor's closet back in highschool and go detention for it because I was such a klutz, enough to hit the mops and cleaning utensils that the principal heard my mess from outside in the empty hallway (But I don't regret that day. I met my best friends in detention and Lemonade Mouth would not have come to be if that didn't happen. As bad as the day that Nancy, my mom's cat, passed away and I wasn't in the mood to get to school because of it. That day, my friends came over because they were so worried. That was the moment we lay in the backyard and just stared up at the stars. That was also the time I talked about my dad.

Just some of the dark hours in my life. But, come to think of it, there was always a light at the end of the dark tunnel. Something would eventually happen that would make me feel better. Although, I don't think this day would be one of those lucky bad days.

It was actually dark out and night had come. We really chose a bad time to get stuck out here. Lightning was flashing every now and then along with little rumbles of thunder, the wind was giving a cold blow and the air smelled like rain. We were almost in the middle of nowhere. What made it better was that the car broke down. The batteries are actually dead so despite having gas in the tank, the car still wouldn't start. The road looked abandoned and help just seems impossible to find in this place. Such unfortunate events. Even being stuck with Wen was unfortunate. I'm pretty sure and most positive that he is an addition to the list of misfortune of mine for that day.

When you think way back, things were good. Things were all sweet and happy in the teenage days with this boy. Hiding my feelings for him, pretending to like him to save Mo from her father and be all clingy and fake admitting for the cameras but telling him it was all fake just for Mo to not be 'killed' by her baba even though it was all very real for me. It made things complicated but I was young and confused and thought what I did was for the best. It's also been years and people change, I wasn't gonna be the type of girl to stay stuck in her shell for the rest of her life. I have dated a few guys after the fake-break up with Wen for the paparazzi. At least that ended that and things went smoothly after. Even to the point where Lemonade Mouth would have their last gig in their music career. I've gotten my degree in journalism and masters as well. I have still lived well after the fame and success of our band. I've written columns and other articles for a few magazines and still continue to do so every now and then, kind of a freelancer for the moment. It's been a long time and journey.

Although, I admit, despite everything and the constant convincing and occupying of time, I have never lost my feelings for this boy.

Back to the present. We left the car and started to walk a bit. If we had stayed there, nothing would happen and we wouldn't be getting any chance for help since there was no reception on my phone and his was dead. I guess it was about to rain since I could already feel little droplets of water start to hit my skin. I walked faster, not minding him as he strolled behind me. I wasn't in the mood to listen to him, which actually made me glad that he wasn't talking. At least I knew he was walking too and he was following me from behind. The less conversation we make, the less things we have to talk about, and the less stuff could go wrong.

We kept walking and walking, the air was chilly, gladly I was wearing a sweater. Although, my boots were killing me. Another thing to add to my list of frustrations and misfortune for the day. I really wanted to take them off but the ground was filled with small rocks and I'm pretty sure it would cut deep into my foot at any rate.

We continued to walk for what seemed like miles with the air still blowing chilly winds and feeling drops of rain hit my head in between minutes. I was starting to get damped. It was cold and my sweater was starting to feel useless. Until, I don't know how this day could get any worse, it started to rain. As in not just a few drops every now and then but really rain. It was hard actually. My sweater now really did nothing to save my normal temp. I muttered a few cusses out of frustration while Wen shared some of his own. I could hear him mutter "Oh great, just great," and other little things. I paid attention to him, even though I didn't show it, because I still cared.

A few more meters ahead and I saw a small house surrounded by a white fence with another structure out back that seemed to be a barn, in the distance. It gave me hope and relief. I wasn't sure at first if it was vacated but a figure in a raincoat coming from the porch proved me wrong. I looked back at Wen and grabbed hold of his wrist, pulling him to walk faster. "I'm pretty sure you can see what I see. Come on, hopefully this guy would let us take shelter for a while." I spoke to him in a straight face as much as I could possibly put on. He didn't hesitate my pull, so we walked faster towards the house. I decided not to run, my feet are hurting badly. Besides, it was quite muddy already. The road was mostly sand and it was hard to be quicker than we already were.

We approached and saw that the small gate of the fence was left open, Wen probably hesitated at first because I felt him stop in his place for a while when I wanted to enter. I pulled him again without looking at him and he followed. He was kind enough to close the gate behind him, a simple gesture to whoever lived here. I had let go of him this time. I made my way up the porch and knocked lightly on the door. Just too cold and shivering to stop and think about what I'm doing. Seconds later, Wen came up behind me. The door opened with an old man, probably in his 60s, attending to our knock.

"Hello, we're sorry to be disturbing you at this weather. But we were just wondering if-" I was cut off when the man started to speak.

"Lemme guess. Car broke down? No phone reception? Need a place to stay until it stops raining?" he spoke with the typical voice an old man would.

"Actually, yes. But, sir-" Wen spoke from behind me and he was cut off too.

"Come on and get inside." Was all the old man had said before leaving us at the door to enter another room. I would speak for the both of us and say that we didn't really know what to do because this man didn't actually show proper hospitality yet he let us enter his home. We just followed and took our chances. I heard the door close from behind me as I entered. The old man came back to attend to us a few seconds later, towels in hand.

"Here you go, dry and wrap yourselves in these for now. I'll prepare something hot to drink for you kids to get warm. Come into the kitchen after a while." He then disappeared before I could even get the chance to thank him. I opened up the folded towel given to me and wiped my hair. Wen had stepped forward a bit when he took the towel given to him, so he was now beside me. And from the corner of my eye, I saw him take off his jacket and then his shirt which now left him without a top, exposing his well formed muscles from his chest, arms, and abs. He opened the door just to squeeze his wet shirt and hang his damp jacket outside on a nail that was peaking from a wooden post and let it a less bit wet. I didn't let it obvious that I was looking or that even I was affected. I kept busy drying myself up, I couldn't do what he did so I just wrapped myself in the towel.

* * *

><p>We went on to the dining room, Wen left his jacket out and put back his shirt, still wrapped in our own respective towels to keep sipping the water from our own clothes. There were little bowls filled soup prepared on the table. Sir Dan had just seen us as he finished fixing the table.<p>

"Why don't you kids take a seat and we could have some hot soup all together." The old man smiled this time, which actually put a little smile on my face. He reminded me of my dad when I was little, caring and careful.

"Thank you, sir." I had said and took my spot on the right side of the medium-rectangular table, it was made for a group of five. The chairs were wooden as is the table which meant that we didn't have to worry about getting some cushions all soaked in water. Wen took his spot on the other side while the old man took the spot between us.

"Call me Sir Dan," he had mentioned as he took his seat.

Through our small dinner, we actually got to know that Sir Dan was quite a jolly old man. He wasn't all grumpy and lonely like the others his age, because he wasn't actually alone. He had a wonderful family, his wife and his daughter, to complete him. Even though his wife has passed away a few years back after a brain tumor had taken her life. He went through that, but he wasn't just by himself. He had his daughter by his side to support her heartbroken dead and arrange her beloved mother's proper burial. His daughter's family would take a visit to his place here every now and then to see how he has been doing. That's why his place doesn't seem to look like time had worn it out, because he would take care of it very well for when his daughter comes back. We shared our own stories, not too much of anything Wen and I had spent together, just some stuff of our band and what we used to be. Once we mentioned our band name, he had said that he would hear a few of our songs on the radio when he listened. This made us even more into the talk with Sir Dan. We were relieved and happy, not only that we were given a place to stay for until the weather stopped, but the one who had taken us in had just lifted my spirits up despite all of today's frustrations. The simple comforting aura that grazed out of this man just made me smile. And I can see that he did the same to Wen. Not that I was paying attention to the guy, it's just that I can sense no irritability in the smile splashed on his face.

* * *

><p>We were only provided with one room which means we had to share. The barn we saw earlier was actually converted into a bedroom. Sir Dan said it was for his daughter who used to live here but is now married and moved in with her family back in the city. But it was still for her to stay in during the times she would take a trip with her husband and son and decided to visit. Despite my frustration, we were thankful that we even had a place to stay for the night. The caretaker provided us with some clothes that were placed inside the room's cabinet. He gave us the privilege to choose what to sleep in, which were mostly bigger than me. Lucky enough that there were a few shorts and bottoms that fitted me well. The shirt, however, would be oversized but would still be good enough and comfortable to snooze in. We both decided to change after being soaked in the thunderstorm. He let me go first and I thanked him.<p>

I gave myself a warm shower. This place was great and the Sir Dan was really hospitable, providing us with everything we need like clothes and food and even bathroom needs. At least there was one thing that didn't add to my list of misfortunes for the day. I scrubbed myself very well which made me feel fresh. Like what people say, you always think a lot whenever you're taking a shower. It was true. I can't stop thinking on what was going on at the venue right now. We were all supposed to have a get-together after not seeing each other for a long time. Wen had said he would drive me to the place since he was also going and I didn't have a car (Stella was supposed to fetch me but eventually canceled and said he couldn't because she had to attend to her little brothers first and that would be totally out of the route). I rinsed and stepped out of the shower to brush my teeth. I dried myself after finishing and changed into the clothes I got. I came out of the bathroom with my hair still a bit wet. He was sitting on the sofa that stood at least a few feet away to the left from the king-sized bed. I told him that he could take his turn to clean up. He was still soaked and looked somehow like he was shivering. He looked up and just nodded at me before went in.

I went over and lay on the right side of the bed, which gives me a view from the window. I pulled up the covers and got comfortable, not taking my eyes off the scene in front of me. I can't believe how beautiful yet painful it is to be watching the continuous drops of rain hit the window pane, the endless tears being shed by the sky. You can almost think that it was sobbing as you hear the loud roars of thunder and the hard hits of water on the roof. It was concealed enough to give people who stayed here a good night's sleep, but due to the silence and concentration, it seemed nothing like an illusion. I feared thunderstorms and never actually liked them. This was one time I got to appreciate its exquisiteness, but not fully.

The beauty and magnificence of nature still couldn't cover the memories that came along with it. There were just so much images that flash in front of your eyes as lightning bolts would suddenly blind you with brightness. Some of the most painful times for me, whenever something bad happened, a thunderstorm was always occurring above. It was when her mom had let out her final breath before her heart stopped beating and her pulse just disappeared, it also rained hard when dad got arrested for robbery and homicide, it also rained hard when I found granny on her bed, sleeping peacefully and never to wake up again. Thunderstorms were just the symbol of me losing of me losing the people I love and cherish. The thunderstorm that was currently ongoing outside reminded me of all that loss. I heard the door to the bathroom open, Wen stepped out and shut it behind him. I closed my eyes and immediately, my memories of him flashed along with the other painful memories I have. My old best friend that I grew apart with as time went by.

* * *

><p>I remember the time when us five were sent into detention for different reasons. Thanks to our own personal interests in music, a simple cleaning job turned into a jamming session, with Mrs. Reznik listening from outside. Eventually talking us into the idea of playing altogether. I remember taking little glances at Wen as I sang my heart out and going along the fun and symphony that they created. His fingers fiddling with the keys of the keyboard, being one of those who created the catchy tune.<p>

I remember the time when I was taking books out of my locker for my next class when Stella had sent me a text, us the text. And Wen had suddenly appeared from behind me, flipping his phone to show the same text. I was really startled, which made me bump into my locker and close it shut as I tried to turn around to look who it was. I got to look into his eyes before I even walked away. As I did, I couldn't keep the big smile of my face. I actually looked like an idiot walking along the corridor with a huge grin for no reason.

I remember the first practice of the band that was an epic failure. We couldn't match the beat and lyrics together. We almost gave up, and then Wen had started to play the keyboard. I looked back at him as he played and he looked at me too. We shared a gaze of encouragement, and he nodded. I went over to approach Mo as Charlie started a simple drum beat. Creating an intro to a wonderful song, which eventually encouraged us to go for what we were put together in the start.

I remember when he had come over to my house for us to write a song, any song, that we could put together. That time in the backyard when we got so close, face to face, with each other and our faces were inches apart. The time he had said the words, "I like your smile," and then was embarrassed soon after. Apologizing, but I said it was okay. I smiled, couldn't keep it back again. Gladly, I had an excuse of us having fun while working to cover up my reason of smiling.

I remember when it had been the night of the Halloween Bash and we were about to perform next after Mudslide Crush. I was as nervous as hell and rushed to the bathroom, knowing that I could throw up chunks at any given moment. The rest of them had followed me into the girl's room and had tried to talk me to make sure I would be fine. Wen had asked Stella for a lemonade she kept in her belt to give it to me. He mentioned too that the gang believed in me and that I could do it. It made me feel better, it helped. He leaned, whispering against the door of the cubicle for me to here, "I believe in you,". That made me feel like I had broken a chain binding me to fear. His soothing words helped me bring back courage and have the guts to get out there.

I remember the time when Nancy had died and Wen came over along with the rest of the band. They accompanied in a time of pain and need, when I had lost something dear to me. They all sat with me in the backyard, Wen on my left. It felt nice knowing they were there. And it felt better with Wen there beside me.

I remember the time when I had a little outburst at a juice bar because of his stubbornness. He had a family, unlike me who was losing everyone I loved by the minute, and he couldn't even appreciate the wonderful thing he had. It pissed me off and I shouted at him, which eventually led to me losing my voice.

I also remember the time when he had given me little Daisy. After losing Nancy, it was such a kind gesture for him. I had said thanks to him for it and gave him a hug. He hugged back and I felt comfortable in his arms. I was really happy, I had a new addition to my family. I didn't wanna let go, but I eventually had to. I was really happy with my best friend.

I remember the moment during the interview on that show where Mo almost got busted by her dad (no thanks to the host and those rumors that were true). I wanted to do something to save her from her baba embarrassing her from millions of televiewers, so I had to step up and do something rash. I had admitted (somehow) that it was me and Wen that were together. I feared and stuttered and spoke other words I shouldn't have because it was stupid knowing that I might get rejected. I felt a sigh of relief that he went with it. He had even kissed my hand during our performance that night. The contact made me feel shivers down my spine.

Things changed after that. The thought battled in my head if I wanted it to be real and that I had the chance to tell him the truth. But, as always, my fear got the best of me. I eventually told him that it was all for show and that we were just going to continue to pretend for the cameras to believe that it was true. I told him that eventually we would pretend to break-up and just continue to be friends. It was a stupid decision, really. I had realized that in the end. At that point, I wanted to hit myself hard in the head due to frustration and idioticness. But there was no way of bringing that moment back now. Things had went on as they did. The saddest thing about what I had decided to do is that the relationship between me and Wen, even just our being best friends, had started to fade. It wasn't how it was anymore when the band started. We talked less and he stayed more with guys and me with the girls. It hurt, knowing that I was also at fault for these happenings, for this to happen to our friendship. It eventually faded, and left a lot of questions and awkwardness between us. I hated it.

* * *

><p>I snapped out of my delusion when I heard him start to talk. I was still facing the window, so I couldn't see the expression of his face. He wasn't seated or lying down on the bed because I felt no movement of the cushion. But I knew he was standing behind me, on the other side of the bed, because I could hear his voice clearly but not too loud.<p>

"What happened, Livy? To us?" he asked quietly.

I didn't want to answer. There was just too much kept in me to answer such a question. But he asked again.

"What, Livy? Tell me. I know you're not asleep." He continued.

I still didn't answer but I unconsciously let out a sigh I didn't know I was keeping in. Now he really knows I'm awake.

"Come on, Livy. Tell me." He asked again.

And then I snapped. "Stop calling me Livy!" I had sprang up on the bed and sat down. I covered my face for him not to see. I felt the bed move and I know he sat down. I felt his hand on my shoulder but I pushed it off immediately and then stood up, as if I had been shocked by an electric current.

"Why would you need to ask me that? I don't have the answers." I crossed my arms and faced the window. Waiting for his reply.

"I want to know. Because we're acting like shit! We're acting like we haven't known each other for long when in fact, we've known each other for years! Even before Lemonade Mouth was born. It doesn't even seem like we've been best friends." He said. That took me back and now I wanted to answer and let it out.

"What do you even want to know exactly?" I said in a straight voice as much as I could muster.

"Everything that happened. I want my best friend back. I miss those moments we shared. Remember those times with the band? Those times when we shared laughs and smiles. You've been so cold to us." He said again. What was he saying? I wasn't cold to the others, just to him! Alright. If he wanted answers, I will give him answers. I just can't keep it in anymore. I turned around quickly and walked over to the foot of the bed, not totally crossing over to his side. But I made sure we were close enough for me to shove all of my words into his face.

"I'm cold to the band? I'm not cold to anyone else but you! You can ask Mo and Stella and Charlie, heck, even Scott, that I'm not cold to any one of them. But you, fuck you! Fuck you for being stupid. Fuck you for not noticing. Fuck you for making me feel like this. And fuck you for making me go with it through all these years!" I stared at him, and he was staring back at me in shock. I continued, "Ever since we were kids, I always gave side-glances to that little gingerhead boy playing in the corner with the other boys. As we grew up, and eventually got together in detention, I never lost that. You know, I was so heaping happy when I found out Lemonade Mouth was born. The time when I said I joined the band for you? It was the truth, it was the whole truth! For a girl who is as scared-as-shit like me to join a band? Wouldn't it be ridiculous? But I gathered all my guts to join in just for you! You affected my decisions and I hated that! I couldn't think straight because you were also up in my head! It sounds crazy but it's true. You just had that much of an effect on me." I paused for a while to breathe after that long sharing of words. I knew was about to say something but didn't have the chance to because I went back to my outburst, "Fuck you for making me love you! I hate you! I hate that I love you! I love you so much that I'm hurting up until now. I hurt so much when we started to drift apart! I hurt so much knowing that I had the chance to tell you the truth but decided to be a coward and cover it up. That's my fault but I still hate you for not seeing through it." My voice started to break, I know I was about to cry. But I wasn't done. I had to let all these words out before I broke down. "And now you ask me what's wrong? Now you know! What's wrong is that I love you! I love you so much that I'm crumbling and the pain is eating me up! Years and years of hiding and waiting, and now we're here. I hate it! I hate it that I love you!" I couldn't take it anymore and now broke down.

I couldn't look at him so I went back to my side of the bed and faced the window, turning my back on him. I half-hugged myself using my left arm and hand while my right hand covered my mouth. I cried and let my tears fall like the water flowing down the window pane. I tried to keep my sobs a little quiet after my outburst, I wouldn't want to bother or startle the kind caretaker of this place. Failing to control my emotions and thoughts this time, it's been years and I just had to let it all out. I closed my eyes and continued to cry. My inconsistent ideas of concealing and hiding and all that just added to the stress, eventually triggering me along with his words to want to talk about everything. Because, maybe it won't matter anymore. Maybe he won't care anymore, even though I don't really know if he cared at all since the beginning.

Either I was too deep into my thoughts to try to comfort myself or I really felt a pair of arms around me, hugging me as I hugged myself. I leaned back for support, maybe I was asleep, maybe I was having a nervous breakdown in a dream, maybe I would fall and wake up to a cozy bed and a bright sunny day. But I wasn't , because I didn't fall and wake up. I was still snuggled within these arms and then I was turned around. I opened my eyes. I knew now who it was because I was awake. I kept my gaze down, not wanting to see that goofy face with those cute little freckles and that adorable smile that I always admired and went crazy about since I saw him in 1st grade. His fingers grazed my chin and felt him lift my chin up to look up at him, I almost hesitated at first but my body let me decide for me. I closed my eyes because I was afraid. I was afraid to look into his, I knew I wasn't over him, I never was. It's been a long time since we've been this close, I was supposed to feel uncomfortable, but I also wanted to be here like this with him. I was in love with this boy and I always will be. He started to speak, softly and almost like whispering.

"Open your eyes, Livy. Look at me." He said.

I didn't want to. I didn't, because I was scared. I couldn't. I shook my head gently to show him that I wouldn't.

"Please, Livy. Look at me. Open your eyes."

His voice was soft and sullen and honest. I opened my eyes, as if I was commanded my the softness of his voice, to see and outline of his face, not the clear image of it. It was dim for me to see clearly. But I could see his unmistakably green eyes. Those beautiful eyes that seemed like they were looking deep inside of you, more than what you think they see.

"All these years.. I was a coward. I was stupid. I'm sorry, Livy." His voice cracked at the end. His eyes started to shine, tears starting to well up. I could see his efforts of trying not to break. I didn't want to believe him, I thought it was stupid of just feeling this and telling it to me now. In one jolt of realization, you just can't match with years of suppressed pain. But, even though I wanted to believe what I thought, I couldn't. Because I could still feel the sorrow in his voice, the regret, and the pain. Pain I also had. Wen, I can feel him.

"I had the chance, I almost did but I let you slip and decide to cover it up again. I was too much afraid to tell the truth, knowing the possibility of rejection. Knowing that I might be put back because I was never nearly like any of the girls you've been with. I've just been through a lot to let in more of it. I just can't take it, I'm sorry." It was true. I couldn't take it. Right now, it felt like I was back in high school all over again but only that my feelings grew and the emotion got all piled up. Now, I burst like a bubble and was crying so much. I was always so sensitive and emotional, people are probably used to me being like this. But his arms hugged me tighter, he hugged me tighter, and I just let him hold me close. I needed support, and I needed him, even just for now. I cried more, little sobs coming out of me.

He continued to soothe me, helping me calm down, tears still fell but I stopped sobbing. I felt his lips on my forehead, gentle. I let him and took it as a sign of him being there for me. He then kissed my eyelids, keeping my eyes closed. I let him and took it as a caring signal for me to hush and stop crying. He kissed the tip of my nose. I let him and took it as a little thing to make me feel a bit better. And then he kissed me, his lips touching mine, soft and light. I let him. He was about to draw back before I kissed him back, supple and sweet. Something I've been waiting for years to do and to let him feel. I wanted to let him feel the emotion I'd kept in, not the frustrations that I released with my outburst, but the emotions I've kept from him. I wanted him to truly get the message of what I felt for him. That I wanted him and that I needed him, that I loved him. I wanted him to feel it in that simple delicate kiss. But it wasn't fully enough.

I kissed him again, with a bit more force, just to let him know that I wanted to kiss him more. He replies and kisses me back with the same intensity. I don't know how he's taking this, but he isn't rejecting me. I wanted more, I can't control it anymore. Years and years of pure sentiment and longing is just now flowing out. I let my feelings control my actions now, not caring what my mind wanted me to think. I let him know that I didn't want to stop, that kissing him felt so much like what I was wishing for so long. I almost felt satisfied, like a little girl being given the doll she wanted her whole life by her parents. The heat was growing, the intensity rising, but the feelings were sincere. He was returning my kisses, and I was scared that he was only doing it because I wanted to, that he was only doing it to serve as a form of apology and something that would make me feel better. So I stopped for a moment and let go, it was also an excuse to breathe in some air. I didn't open my eyes, I bit my lip and let out a sigh. I could feel him looking at me, but I didn't want to see the expression on his face. I heard him whisper, "Sshh, it's okay. Let me. I want to." I was actually surprised, but I just nodded. I felt him lift my chin up and catch his lips on mine again. He kissed me, he initiated it, so I kissed him back. I wanted to and I didn't want to let this minute pass by. At that point, I felt special. I couldn't remember all those years in which I let by. It all felt like I was stuck in the moment, not wanting to let go and not wanting to return to the painful truth of time. We just kissed, genuine and truthful, filled with passion and longing.

I felt myself slowly being turned around and gently laid back onto the bed. His gentle hands caress the lower of my back as my arms voluntarily go around his neck. He shifted and kissed my ear and nibbled a little, it was ticklish but didn't hurt, I let out a small gasp in shock. It was different, an alien feeling, nothing I've felt or done before, but it didn't feel wrong either. He wasn't taking advantage of me. I know him, he's one of the sweetest and sincerest guys that ever existed, I let him. He kissed my neck and back up my jaw to my lips, he then stopped to look into my eyes. I could see the question, wordlessly asking me if I wanted him to continue. I gave him a small and reassuring smile to mean yes. He smiled back and kissed me again. They were getting hotter, I felt it too. His tongue flicked against my bottom lip and did not hesitate to let him in. I wanted this and he, too, is showing that he wants this. Out tongues felt like they were dancing gracefully, not battling each other so much to the point of being wild, which made me feel more of him. I was feeling him with me, I was so in love with this boy.

It was getting hotter, I know it's not just me. I felt his hands go up my waist, lifting my shirt up a bit, I didn't stop him. He pulled it up carefully and then all at once, tossing it aside. My arms felt the reflex of covering myself up, I wasn't wearing a bra since I was about to go bed. I'm not ashamed of my body like I used to be but I was still scared of him seeing me. I didn't expect this so I didn't get the chance to process if I was ready or if I am ready at all. He felt my tension and my brisk move. "You're beautiful," he whispered. I smiled and he kissed me again, my hands retreating from my chest to tug at his shirt. He did the honors of pulling it off and tossing it aside, probably to where my shirt was lying on the floor as well. I touched his chest, feeling the firmness of his build and let my hand slip slowly down to his abs. This guy really took care of his body to stay in shape. My hand slipped down, unconsciously, even more and landed on the hem of his trousers. I pulled it down slowly and he helped me with it. He did to my shorts as well. He positioned me properly onto the pillow in the middle of the bed. Little by little, we were stripped off of our clothing until nothing was left but out bare bodies. He pulled up the blanket and comforter around us to keep us covered a bit. Even though it was getting hot in the room, once we start to subside, the weather will surely get to us again. I was lying down and he looked at me with a sweet smile, tugging stray locks of hair away from my face. But then his smile vanished as he took a deep breath. He kissed me again, harder this time. He's showing me a level of intensity that I secretly wished and desired, so I replied and gave him with the same level of it. It wasn't pretend at all. I wanted this, I wanted him. His movements were changing and getting deeper and deeper, his mouth and kisses going lower than my neck. I let out moans that I was keeping in. This boy is making me want him even more than I already do.

He moved lower until he reach my femininity, he did things I never thought I would feel, more less with him. I was sort of overwhelmed at the moment, and now I didn't know what to feel. Is it too much, is it getting too far, is it right? But then, I thought, I don't care. I shouldn't care about those little questions anymore. I have him and we were sharing something special. I shouldn't psych myself out with worry and doubt. I was loving every second of it, nothing to regret in the future. My feelings and all the hormones in my body are joining together to make this deeper and it's pretty hard to control. Every now and then I would breath out his name and then he would kiss me and our lips would battle again. I somehow needed a moment to process this. We had kissed for the first time tonight and now we were going further, I don't until where but I wanted and needed him more. Questions popped up in my mind again, I forced them to the back of my head or forget them because I shouldn't be thinking too much about it right now. He probably sensed a little disturbance in me that caused him to stop.

"Are you okay?" he looked at me and whispered with a little concern in his voice. I nodded and gave the sincerest smile that I could muster. But he didn't seem convinced, still worried, he asked me again, "Are you sure? Do you want me to stop?"

I lifted my hand and touched his hair. I said, "Don't stop, please." He looked into my eyes and searched for assurance. I looked deep into his to guarantee him that it's fine and that I wanted this. I wanted him.

Without breaking eye contact, he shifted a little and slowly pushed himself inside of me. It hurt and I was taken aback. I let out a gasp after feeling like something has been ripped. It hurt because it was my first time. Yes, I am, WAS, a virgin. And that I promised that I would only give myself to the one I would not want to lose, ever. To someone who I can see myself growing old with and to someone that I would never lose my feelings for. To someone I loved and will continue to love for a really long time. Here I am now, finally making love with that person. I knew he was trying to be gentle, he was watching me. I couldn't hide the little gasps of pain and pleasure, my facial expression showing a little discomfort because of the foreign feeling, but he was still careful enough with each movement he made. I could feel blood trickling onto the blanket, but I pushed it aside in my head and just let myself feel Wen. He did it slowly to not shock me, but I knew I wanted and needed more, I know he did too.

I whispered in his ear to do more. I didn't want to ruin the moment and think that this was all just about the physical contact. No, this was deeper than that, we weren't just having a sexual intercourse but we were making love. I just held onto him tighter so that he wouldn't stop to question me again. He just followed and did as we both truly desired. It felt good, it felt better. My head was now turning into a fluid state due to such feelings I am having. I was losing focus and was giving into what was happening. He kissed me again. I want to feel him more and I want to remember this night.

"Oh, shit," I heard him breath out. I knew where he was about to go as I reached my point as well. "Oh, fuck, shit," he stiffened for a while and I knew that he had shared a part of himself within me. I dug my nails and held on tightly as I gave a reply to it. I closed my eyes and felt him crash beside me, pulling me into his arms. He pulled the sheets and wrapped it properly around the both of us. I lay on his arm and leaned on his chest as he kissed my forehead.

"Cheesy as it may sound, I never really thought of anyone else but you. I've dated others, no one would be like you. No one complements me as much as I knew you would. You make me feel like everything would be okay, like everything would be smooth sailing. It didn't actually turn out like how I thought it would be, but still, here we are. I'm sorry for being a coward, letting you hurt more than I did myself. But remember, you helped me in more ways than you can think of. I love you, Olivia White."

I was really surprised by his words. I knew I felt something with him throughout the moment, but it was different hearing himself say it. I didn't know what else to say. My thoughts were processing. We had just made love, I have shared something with the boy I have kept feelings from for years and now the same boy has confessed his own hidden feelings for me. I wanted to say a lot, words that I didn't know how to form. I had questions and I wanted to explain myself too. Guessing that I've already said too much during my outburst, I decided on it and I only said the first words that popped in my head.

"I love you too, Wendell Gifford."


End file.
